CANDID TALK

what we don't say out loud.

No one told me…

| 0 comments

stretch mark

Now that am out of the bush, hiding face while laughing, into the clearing i would like share a few things that no one bothers to mention during the pregnancy journey to the time Baby is born. As much as that smile on the photo shoot looks very easy and all calm ,it is actually not the actual matter on the ground. I have been there twice now rest the aching womb syndrome comes calling again…

From decorating to your work to-do list, getting stuff done is your new specialty. You suddenly feel like a super woman, the energy surge is unbelievably high. You are here there everywhere handling everything!

You will become a bump-protecting ninja. HIY-YAAA commuter elbow! KAPOW!

Under wired bras are the enemy. Yes Mastitis is real! Keep off those beautiful push-ups and raced bras as much inviting as they look.

Everyone will comment on the size of your bump and nothing they say will be right. ‘Wow! It’s very neat!’ = ‘It’s unfeasible small, there must be something wrong.’ ”Wow, that’s a healthy bump!’ = ‘You got fat.’ I forgive my sister Shyro Njoroge  for utterly calling my bump fat and lazy,karma is catching up with you soon sister!haha..

You will burp, hiccup and have regular heart burn…unfortunately you will have to weather the storm since self-medication is a no go zone.

…but your hair will be real nice,full and shiny!. Everyone has an opinion on whether you should find out the sex of your unborn child. (Start practicing your nodding-along faces now.)

You will start to measure time in weeks and days. Downloading pregnancy apps while goggling anything and everything that you my strangely experience as the body adjusts to the new occupant.

Whatever their size, your breasts are about to get their moment in the spotlight. But fame and glory come at a price: Soreness and the sudden change of bra cups to a couple of sizes up!

Out of the blue, you will suddenly realize that there are two of you in the car / on the sofa / in the bath. Ha! you are a small giant

Your body stretches even in places you had no idea could stretch so as a natural order stretch marks become a familiar thing. Yes it at that point you get advises from everyone on all the remedies you can do to prevent this. Well, applying all the body lotions and natural oils in the world does not work. Accept and move on please!

You will be told – often – that you’re ‘glowing’. Sweating and panting like a pig in a sausage shop might be your way of putting it.

Pillows, pillows everywhere. Wedged in curves, stuffed in gaps, plugged between knees. Now let’s get some shut eye…and nothing! Sleep becomes a thing of the past.

Body aches and strain will be a familiar friend. Try stretching in the morning, muscle pulls occurs and other body pains that cannot be explained .The body feels like some hand me down piece of thing!.

The passage of time will slow to an almost imperceptible drip. Who knew nine months could take so freaking long? Especially third trimester…whooo!

Comfy pants are officially in. Good bye fashion sense.

You will be amazed at how many hours there are in the weekend when you don’t spend half of them hungovered. For those who enjoy a few glasses of wine, guilty…

You will worry about your unborn child not being cute. Then feel guilty you ever had that thought.(Hide face)

Even repeat episodes of “La gata” will have you sobbing like no-one’s ever sobbed before. It’s just all so amazing and terrifying at the same time. My husband doesn’t get it…duh!

Pelvic floor exercises will go from being something you vaguely read about in a magazine to what you do at the bus stop. When it’s time to go, its indeed time, waiting or postponing is no longer a luxury

Dead-eyed parents will eye your bump and say, ‘Just pray you get a sleeper.’ (This will make you anxious.).A crying baby will make you go utterly insane especially for first time mums. Whisper and talk to Baby to behave once they are out to the world.

Nobody can agree on anything (epidurals, soft cheese, formula, medicine balls, water births, riding a bike, wine, routines, co-sleeping, bouncy chairs, sleep nannies) except that having a baby is definitely and without doubt going to be the most awesome thing that’s ever happened to  any woman.

Author: Kate Mwamba

Financial and lifestyle blogger

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: