I raise my hand super high that my marriage is NOT perfect. And, in case you haven’t heard this, let me be first to tell you, NO ONES is. It is so easy to browse Instagram or Facebook and see the “good”. You see the smiles, you see the happy family pictures, you see the good. People rarely post their fights, their struggles, or their bad days. So, while reading this, know that you are not alone. My prayer is that you would actively fight for your marriage and pray continually for one another.
Writers often get inspiration from the briefest moments in life. Something seen while driving, a headline on a favorite magazine, or something someone says that makes you laugh, instantly gets your brain thinking “How do I write about this?” This was one of those moments. Hold on there! Let me think like a married man..haha..i hope I pull this one off;
Wife says: “That guy over there is coming on to me.”
Husband translates: “You need to get up and go tell him to back off. Yes, I can see that he’s 6’2″ and outweighs you by 50 pounds, but grow a pair and go defend my honor.”
Wife says: “Are you gaining a little weight?”
Husband translates: “You’re fat, and from now on, all sexual activity will be conducted in the dark”haha
Wife says: “Can we talk?”
Huband translates: “You’re one response away from being a dead man because, make no mistake, I’m not happy and it’s your fault. So listen and think very carefully before you say another word.”
Wife says: “Do you think she’s pretty?”
Husband translates: “Alert. Alert. She’s absolutely stunning, but if you say that, I’m going to be forced to go all freaky ninja on your ass, so just look confused and say ‘Who?’”
Wife says: “Do you know what today is?”
Husband translates: “I celebrate all of our special moments. First date, first kiss, first dance. Because this relationship is important to me. Isn’t it important to you?? Walk through that minefield, Big Guy.”
Wife says: “I’ve been thinking.”
Husband translates: “Grab a beer and a comfy chair, because this is going to take a while. Forget the beer. You’re going to need Scotch.”
Wife says: “Notice anything new, dear?”
Husband translates: “You’ve got about 15 seconds to figure out what’s different about me (Did I cut my hair, lose weight) before I tell all my girlfriends that you’re a total douche who doesn’t pay attention to his wife.”
Wife says: “No, there’s nothing wrong.”
Husband translates: “You stepped in it, big time. But you’re going to have to figure it out because I’m too pissed to tell you exactly what you did.”
And so for all your lamenting over the years, guys, about how mysterious and confusing women can be, it would appear that you know us better than you thought. But all in all in my journey in quest to get near God this year I have learnt to seek the bible for most answers in attempts to become a better wife and mother. I have found that in everything;
Have Patience. Patience can be a hard thing. You sit in traffic, you wait in lines, you wait on the phone…. its takes patience. Your spouse leaves the dishes in the sink, you leave toothpaste on the mirror… its takes patience. Always practice and pray for patience with each other.
Love is patient.. – 1 Corinthians 13:4
Be kind. I know that this might sound basic, but it’s so basic that we can forget to be intentionally kind. By this I mean, have your spouse’s meal ready for them, make the bed, pick up their favorite snacks or surprise gift on the way home, do initially kind things for them throughout the day. Also, seek to be kind with your words. Having a patient and kind attitude can do so much throughout your day. Choose kindness.
Love is kind.. – 1 Corinthians 13:4
Do not compare.I slightly mentioned above that comparison is a huge struggle today that I feel social media makes even easier. When comparison sneaks into a marriage, it can be very hard to see any good. Be mindful of this and put things in place to combat comparison.
Love does not envy… – 1 Corinthians 13:4
Keep ego/pride away. Pride can be harsh. Pride can be ugly. Pride can be hard. Pride can make reconciliation hard or nearly impossible. Pride gets in the way. Leave no room for pride in your marriage. Instead, clothe your marriage in GRACE and humility. You are on the same team. Be quick to listen and apologize if necessary.
Love does not boast, it is not proud. – 1 Corinthians 13:4
Serve one another. I cannot stress this enough. Pay attention to your spouse and their needs. If they have had a long day, ensure dinner is ready and the house is peaceful when they get home. You could even offer a back massage or a fun movie. Serving one another is one of the best things you could do for your marriage because you put your partner first. Value them above yourself. Try no matter how tired both of you are from work or other chores.
Love is not self-seeking – 1 Corinthians 13:5
Keep a soft heart. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) When people ask me for marriage advice, the two biggest things I say are prayer and keeping a soft heart. I think it can be very easy to become hardened, so I always pray for a soft heart. We know that through our relationship with Christ, we are already forgiven.
Love is not easily angered – 1 Corinthians 13:5
Keep no record of wrongs. Many experts agree that a way to keep a healthy and strong relationship is to avoid phrases like “you always..”, “you never…”, or “I can’t believe you did this again..” Love releases past mistakes and genuinely forgives. This gives you so much freedom in your relationship. Don’t keep track of your spouse’s offences or label them for their mistakes. God loves you and keeps no record of your confessed wrongs. it’s hard but do able.
Love keeps no record of wrongs – 1 Corinthians 13:5
Above all, PRAY. Pray daily for your marriage. Pray for all of these things for your marriage (kindness, patience, soft heart). Never stop praying. Life can be hard, marriage can be hard, but with God, you can prosper. God is bigger than your struggles. He already has you and your marriage in the palm of His hand. Rely on Him.