what we don't say out loud.





photo courtesy

As I grew up from childish ways I realized I was a person who kept things to myself  so much and spoke out less. I was never confrontations neither talkative and most of the time I would hurt from other peoples actions and words and still kept quiet and built grudges within me.With time I have learnt much of my character through experience and Google (thankfully to Zodiac signs) of how to control and shield myself from things that are not within my control. You can never be everything to everyone.

As the year draws to an end I look at the highlights of what made the year so exciting. As for me the birth of my second born, Samara Taji, She rekindled my love for children even further. Secondly my career had stagnated but now am all fired up and living a life of purpose, yes I got a chance to start over again after so much giving, I feel alive!

2017 is almost knocking at the door, It’s never late to retrace what did not work out in 2016 and draft afresh because the longer you dance with the devil the longer you stay in hell. As we get older you can all agree that the less burdens you can carry around the better your state of sanity is; whatever is not necessary drop it and focus on the real issues. Go through all your memories and review them with your new-found insight. 

  • Find a counselor or therapist to discuss these feelings and how they affect you. Find a person with unbiased view of your situation this will help boost your self-esteem and offer a variety of choices for you to consider. Whatever you do please do not suffer in silence. Speak out!
  • You may wish to consider cutting contact. Surround yourself with positiveness. Negative people and negative thoughts are draining cut links! You owe yourself some protection..
  • Accepting what has happened to you and knowing that you were not at fault is imperative to the healing journey.Learn to lay the blame and shame exactly where it belongs, this will give you knowledge and subsequently the power to understand why you have suffered. It will help you realize the dynamics between you, and help you be able to deal with this in the future.
  • Use the forum and/or the chat room and share your story. By doing so you will realize you not are the only person to have suffered. Our stories are all different yet experimentally identical.
  • Learn to create and use boundaries so you don’t get sucked into doing things for others when you don’t want to. When caught on the hop and you feeling obliged to say yes, just take a breath and say “I will let you know if it is possible”. A perfect get-out clause when you can’t say NO. 
  • Self-care is very important and something most of us don’t bother with. Indulge yourself in pampering treatments as often as you can because you are worthy, even if it is only soaking your feet, putting on makeup or taking time out of a busy schedule to read a book.
  • Face your fears.It can be extremely cathartic to do something you are scared even to think of. Often the reality is never as bad as the imagination makes it, whether you are afraid of reptiles, making a decision or going to a social event. Feeling the pride of overcoming your fears will help you begin to grow your confidence, and will make you feel empowered.

  Love your life…………We are all survivors who can thrive.


Author: Kate_ Mwamba

Financial and lifestyle blogger


  1. Great stuff, thanks a lot for sharing.

  2. This is an excellent opinoin!!

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